My brain is always thinking. I'm always wondering about different things and scenarios. I do about 3 hours of driving a day, so I have a lot of free time to think. These are just some of the things that I think are worth a second thought. Some of these thoughts are my own and some are borrowed, but all of them are worth thinking about.
A Test for Telepathy
If you want to know if somebody has telepathic abilities, look at them and in your mind, call them an asshole. If they give you a dirty look...RUN!
Morbid Obesity
Morbid obesity has got to be the worst disease imaginable. It is strange to think that somebody could be so fat it could kill them. There is hope however, a morbidly obese person has 2 options. First, work really hard, diet, exercise, and strive to be obese. Or, they can stay at home and go for the record.
The Battino/Mitchell Theory
There has been a recent trend of girls wearing ugly boots. A couple years ago, my friend Leo and I came up with a theory about good looking girls and their boots. There is an inverse relationship between hot girls and ugly boots. The hotter the girl, the uglier her boots. Hot girls have a habit of wearing the ugliest boots imaginable, but other girls admire them, and want the boots. They don't really want the ugly boots, they want to be good looking. The exception that proves the rule is when an ugly girl wears ugly boots. This is because they have a false perception of their own beauty and/or they aspire to be good looking.
Feminine Products
Often, my girlfriend will ask me to buy her feminine products. My ego will not allow me to do so. I have a huge problem with buying tampons and such, but I'm not sure why. I'm pretty sure the cashier will know that they are not for me, but still I refuse.
Politics
George W. Bush is the reason why people should not tell their kids that they can be anything they want to be.
Riding in Cars with Girls
Have you ever been on a road trip with three girls when their favorite song comes on the radio? It is absolute torture. I was on my way to Cortland with three girls, and they went nuts when The Backstreet Boys and Hanna Montana came on the radio. For the first time in my life, I wished I was deaf.
Tattoos
I do not like tattoos. But if I were to get one, I have a couple good ideas. First, a tattoo of an elephants head right above my genitals so that my penis would look like the trunk. Second, and this is a borrowed idea...If I were ever to lose a testicle, I would tattoo a squirrel running up one leg, and another running down my other leg with a nut in its mouth.
Music
Jim Morrison would have died of AIDS anyway.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
Black Labs Part 2
Torre and Onyx are now 15 weeks old. They are getting really big. Onyx was the runt of the litter, but now he is much bigger than Torre. He is going to be a huge dog, he has a very big head and large paws, so he will probably be around 100 pounds when he is done growing. Torre is still much smarter than Onyx, for the most part. They are at that stage now, where everything is a chew toy for them. They have destroyed two pairs of my sneakers, my girlfriend's shoes, her roommates bra, and a couch. The couch was not so much a big deal because we got it for really cheap, and it is in the dogs' room anyway. They chew on everything from wood to bottle caps. Onyx also likes to eat rocks for some reason. A few days ago, Torre got into my girlfriend's hair dye, and dyed her arm red. Situations like this I can only laugh at. They are still very playful and friendly with everybody. They really like to play with my parents' dog Bailey. Every time we bring them over, the dogs play the entire time. Speaking of Bailey, our dogs can't be that stupid because Bailey ate a pencil yesterday. It seems like we have to buy them new toys all the time. We bought them squeaky balls to play with and within minutes they no longer squeaked. We bought three of them and were watching them play. It was really funny to watch them try to carry two balls at once. They couldn't do it but it was not due to lack of effort. Playing with them is one of my favorite things to do. No matter how bad a day I have had, when I get home and see their wagging tails, it seems like nothing else matters. For the most part they have been very good dogs. They come when their called, they sit (most of the time), and are almost house broken. It didn't take them long to figure out the doggy door at our house. At this point I would recommend black labs to anybody looking for a great pet.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Grandpa D
Five years ago, on November 5th, my life was changed forever. I awoke that Friday morning to hear that my grandfather, John Dimao, was killed in a car accident. That morning I woke up at 6:51 am, and could not get back to sleep. This was odd because I was out at a party the night before, and had no intention of waking up before 10. My father called my around 7:30 to tell me that my grandfather was gone. When I got home and talked to my grandmother, she said that my grandfather had been pronounced dead at 6:51, and that he woke me up to say goodbye. That always hit home for me, because at the time I was the only person away from home. I remember every event from that day, from the kindness the community showed my family, to the grief we all shared.
This became the darkest period in my life. I struggled with depression for a few years, and it is the reason why eventually left school. Now, I seem to have my life back on track as I am graduating in December. I'll never forget the day he died, my uncle Eric said "Just finish school and you will have done right by him." This has been the main reason why I came back to school to finish. The past few years I have felt inadequate in the eyes of my grandfather, and I am desperately trying to change that. I always felt bad about not playing football in college. My grandfather enjoyed watching all of his grandchildren play sports. I had the opportunity to play football at Hartwick College, but I decided to go to Cortland instead (his alma matter) and give up football. He always told me that he could make calls on my behalf, but I never took him up on it.
My grandfather was a pretty important person in his town. He was the long time athletic director for Canastota High School, and after retiring became an assistant athletic director at Colgate University. In the days after his death I heard stories from many people about he specifically touched their life or helped them out in one way or another. Both Canastota and Colgate honored my grandfather. Canastota named their basketball court after him, and Colgate held a private memorial service in which faculty and student-athletes attended. During that service, my grandmother turned to me and said, "I had no idea your grandfather was this important." I responded, "I did."
Some strange things have happened since his passing. The strangest was a few years ago. First let me start by saying the number 22 is my aunt Jackie's favorite number, and since his death the number has been popping up everywhere. In our family we take it as a sign that he is still watching over us. So, a few years ago, my sister had a basketball game in a big tournament. Before the game, the shot clock was stuck on 22. The thing about shot clocks is that at the end of the game they are unnecessary and are shut off. When they are shut off they are reset back to 30 or 35 seconds. This caught the eye of everybody in my family (we were all in attendance). As the game began my sister scored the first 10 points of the game and never missed a shot. After scoring the 10 points she then had 3 assists, as her team went out to an 16-4 lead. For whatever reason her coach decided to take her out at that point. Another strange thing that occurred was when my aunt and uncle were pregnant with twins. This is 2 years after my grandfather died. My uncle received and email from my grandfather's work email. He was not a tech-savvy man, I doubt he even knew how to email. Anyway, all the email said was "1." Days later my aunt and uncle found out that one of the twins had died and they were only going to have one baby.
Now, I can see my grandfathers attributes in every one of my family members. We are still a very close knit family, which is one of the things he always stressed. My mother, and her sister and two brothers are still the best of friends. Myself, my brother, my sister and all of my cousins are all close friends. At the funeral, my Uncle Eric said that he saw his father in all of us grand kids, and he was absolutely right because I see it too. He specifically mentioned all of us and what he saw. For me, he mentioned that I have my grandfather's intelligence, honesty, and sense of humor. I take great pride in that.
He has been gone for 5 years now, and is still a big part of my life. Not a day goes by that I don't think about him in one way or another. Every time I drive by his house I expect to see him on the front porch swing, with his big head of white hair smiling and waving. He was like a second father to me (not that my father is insufficient). I am glad that I got to say goodbye. About a week before he died, I was home on October break. I was about to head back to school, and I stopped at their house to say goodbye. He wasn't home from work yet, and my grandmother told me to wait for him. The last time I saw him, He hugged me and gave me a check for $100 (a very common thing). I will be forever grateful to my grandmother for making me wait an extra twenty minutes for him to get home because I got to say goodbye the last time I saw him. While he was alive, our entire family used to vacation in the Outer Banks, North Carolina, every summer. We would get a huge house on the beach and would do everything together as a family. My cousins and I used to play wiffle ball on the beach. The last year he was alive, some kids from Baltimore challenged us to a game, and we kicked the shit out of them, something like 18-2. I can't even explain how happy that made my grandfather. This past year was the first time we went since he died. We had an amazing time, but it was still different because he wasn't there.
As the years have passed, it has been easier to deal with, but the pain is not completely gone. I still miss him very much and wish I could talk to him today. I would tell him that I fell off track for a little while, but I'm fighting my way back to success, and I think that he would be proud of me, and that makes me very happy.
This became the darkest period in my life. I struggled with depression for a few years, and it is the reason why eventually left school. Now, I seem to have my life back on track as I am graduating in December. I'll never forget the day he died, my uncle Eric said "Just finish school and you will have done right by him." This has been the main reason why I came back to school to finish. The past few years I have felt inadequate in the eyes of my grandfather, and I am desperately trying to change that. I always felt bad about not playing football in college. My grandfather enjoyed watching all of his grandchildren play sports. I had the opportunity to play football at Hartwick College, but I decided to go to Cortland instead (his alma matter) and give up football. He always told me that he could make calls on my behalf, but I never took him up on it.
My grandfather was a pretty important person in his town. He was the long time athletic director for Canastota High School, and after retiring became an assistant athletic director at Colgate University. In the days after his death I heard stories from many people about he specifically touched their life or helped them out in one way or another. Both Canastota and Colgate honored my grandfather. Canastota named their basketball court after him, and Colgate held a private memorial service in which faculty and student-athletes attended. During that service, my grandmother turned to me and said, "I had no idea your grandfather was this important." I responded, "I did."
Some strange things have happened since his passing. The strangest was a few years ago. First let me start by saying the number 22 is my aunt Jackie's favorite number, and since his death the number has been popping up everywhere. In our family we take it as a sign that he is still watching over us. So, a few years ago, my sister had a basketball game in a big tournament. Before the game, the shot clock was stuck on 22. The thing about shot clocks is that at the end of the game they are unnecessary and are shut off. When they are shut off they are reset back to 30 or 35 seconds. This caught the eye of everybody in my family (we were all in attendance). As the game began my sister scored the first 10 points of the game and never missed a shot. After scoring the 10 points she then had 3 assists, as her team went out to an 16-4 lead. For whatever reason her coach decided to take her out at that point. Another strange thing that occurred was when my aunt and uncle were pregnant with twins. This is 2 years after my grandfather died. My uncle received and email from my grandfather's work email. He was not a tech-savvy man, I doubt he even knew how to email. Anyway, all the email said was "1." Days later my aunt and uncle found out that one of the twins had died and they were only going to have one baby.
Now, I can see my grandfathers attributes in every one of my family members. We are still a very close knit family, which is one of the things he always stressed. My mother, and her sister and two brothers are still the best of friends. Myself, my brother, my sister and all of my cousins are all close friends. At the funeral, my Uncle Eric said that he saw his father in all of us grand kids, and he was absolutely right because I see it too. He specifically mentioned all of us and what he saw. For me, he mentioned that I have my grandfather's intelligence, honesty, and sense of humor. I take great pride in that.
He has been gone for 5 years now, and is still a big part of my life. Not a day goes by that I don't think about him in one way or another. Every time I drive by his house I expect to see him on the front porch swing, with his big head of white hair smiling and waving. He was like a second father to me (not that my father is insufficient). I am glad that I got to say goodbye. About a week before he died, I was home on October break. I was about to head back to school, and I stopped at their house to say goodbye. He wasn't home from work yet, and my grandmother told me to wait for him. The last time I saw him, He hugged me and gave me a check for $100 (a very common thing). I will be forever grateful to my grandmother for making me wait an extra twenty minutes for him to get home because I got to say goodbye the last time I saw him. While he was alive, our entire family used to vacation in the Outer Banks, North Carolina, every summer. We would get a huge house on the beach and would do everything together as a family. My cousins and I used to play wiffle ball on the beach. The last year he was alive, some kids from Baltimore challenged us to a game, and we kicked the shit out of them, something like 18-2. I can't even explain how happy that made my grandfather. This past year was the first time we went since he died. We had an amazing time, but it was still different because he wasn't there.
As the years have passed, it has been easier to deal with, but the pain is not completely gone. I still miss him very much and wish I could talk to him today. I would tell him that I fell off track for a little while, but I'm fighting my way back to success, and I think that he would be proud of me, and that makes me very happy.
Monday, November 9, 2009
November Golf Tournament
Yesterday I played in a golf tournament. We signed up weeks ago, but I was a little shaky on the weather. Yesterday was one of the nicest days I've had to play golf in a long time. It was 60 degrees and sunny, which is unheard of in central New York. The tournament was a captain and mate format which means that there are teams of two that both play the same ball. Both people swing, and you take the best shot. My team consisted of my self and my friend Richie. We make a good team because I have a really good short game, and he can hit well off the tee. I normally hit well off the tee but could not keep the ball straight to save my life yesterday. I made up for this with my short game though. We finished two under par with a 69, and tied for 5th overall. We did win our flight however, and got $75 to share. We did not know that there were two flights of teams because we showed up late, but it was a pleasant surprise when we finished. The tournament was called the Hot Chili Open because there was free chili for everybody at the end. The problem was that they did not make enough chili for everybody. We were one of the last teams to finish and the chili was gone because a lot of people went for second helpings before everybody was done. I received a free beer as compensation.
The tournament was fun. The night before we made a cocktail concoction for the tournament. We made a batch of Jack and Cider (sounds disgusting, but it is delicious). I normally make this by the gallon. I take 1/4 Jack Daniels, 3/4 Apple Cider, and add 1 sliced apple. This time I added some cinnamon as well. You let it sit overnight and it is a great fall cocktail. By the morning, you could barely taste the Jack, and you are left with a very sweet hard cider. By the end of the 18th hole our cocktail jug was empty. This leads me to believe that we could have scored a little better, but we had fun so it was OK. I sank two long puts for birdie, and Richie hit one as well. Rich was great off the tee all day, consistently putting the ball out 300 yards. I only had two good drives on the day, but made up with it with my irons and short game. I love to play golf and I'm very glad we had such a nice day yesterday. It is weird because the weather did not cooperate with us in other tournaments this year.
The tournament was fun. The night before we made a cocktail concoction for the tournament. We made a batch of Jack and Cider (sounds disgusting, but it is delicious). I normally make this by the gallon. I take 1/4 Jack Daniels, 3/4 Apple Cider, and add 1 sliced apple. This time I added some cinnamon as well. You let it sit overnight and it is a great fall cocktail. By the morning, you could barely taste the Jack, and you are left with a very sweet hard cider. By the end of the 18th hole our cocktail jug was empty. This leads me to believe that we could have scored a little better, but we had fun so it was OK. I sank two long puts for birdie, and Richie hit one as well. Rich was great off the tee all day, consistently putting the ball out 300 yards. I only had two good drives on the day, but made up with it with my irons and short game. I love to play golf and I'm very glad we had such a nice day yesterday. It is weird because the weather did not cooperate with us in other tournaments this year.
Sirius Satellite Radio
I have had a subscription to Sirius Satellite Radio for 4 years now and I'm never getting rid of it. I love all different kinds of music, and there is a channel for every type of music that you an think of. I enjoy my particular radio because I can store 30 bands and it alerts me whenever one of these bands is playing. It also lets me know what song is on and what channel it is on. Other than the music, I enjoy some of the radio shows. Particularly The Jason Ellis Show, Jackie's Joke Hunt, and Sonny in the Morning. I listen to the Ellis Show, every day at 3. The show goes from 3-7 so I try to catch what I can when I am in the car. Ellis is a former professional skateboarder, who talks about every subject imaginable. The show is normally very funny but sometimes he goes with a serious show. He was a former alcoholic and drug addict, and many people have called in looking for advice. I love the funny shows, but I like to hear these inspirational shows as well. Nothing on the show is scripted but they can all be very funny. He gets guests that include, Musicians, Actors, MMA Fighters, Skateboarders, and porn stars. Ellis calls himself the future of radio, and I would encourage everybody to check this show out, but be advised the language is pretty vulgar.
Jackie's Joke Hunt is only on Tuesday nights at 7. I only get to catch about a half hour of it on my ride into work. If you love to laugh this is a great show. Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling hosts this show with several other people. They go from person to person just telling jokes. They also have listeners call in and email jokes to the show. The language is vulgar on this show also.
Every morning I listen to the uncensored stand up comedy station, RawDog. Sonny Fox hosts a morning show that plays stand up comedy instead of music. I love starting my day off with a laugh or two, and this show always puts me in a good mood.
If you are a fan of music, I urge you to get Sirius, it is only $15 a month, and the entertainment is well worth the price. Along with these shows I mentioned I also listen to many different music channels which are commercial free and uncensored. Sirius also offers many sports and entertainment programs as well.
Jackie's Joke Hunt is only on Tuesday nights at 7. I only get to catch about a half hour of it on my ride into work. If you love to laugh this is a great show. Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling hosts this show with several other people. They go from person to person just telling jokes. They also have listeners call in and email jokes to the show. The language is vulgar on this show also.
Every morning I listen to the uncensored stand up comedy station, RawDog. Sonny Fox hosts a morning show that plays stand up comedy instead of music. I love starting my day off with a laugh or two, and this show always puts me in a good mood.
If you are a fan of music, I urge you to get Sirius, it is only $15 a month, and the entertainment is well worth the price. Along with these shows I mentioned I also listen to many different music channels which are commercial free and uncensored. Sirius also offers many sports and entertainment programs as well.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Raking Leaves
The fall has traditionally been my least favorite season. Even though my birthday is in late September, I still hate the fall. The weather gets colder, the days get shorter, and lawn care becomes a hassle. At my house, we have 18 trees on the east side of our house. In the summer time this makes for a great place to relax in the hammock or by the fire pit, but around October and November it is a real pain. I do enjoy all of the colors that come out in early September and October however. Every year millions of leaves fall down and I am responsible for picking them up. It used to be worse because we had 3 trees in the back yard and two on the west side. However, all of those trees are now gone. Most years we rake the leaves a little at a time. This year we waited until all of the leaves fell to the ground. Yesterday, my dad, my uncle and my self spent six hours cleaning up all of them. We filled my uncle's truck with leaves four times before we were finished. The town of Vernon has a compost heap where we dumped all of the leaves. That was a task in itself because leaves were so packed down in the truck that we have to use pick forks and shovels to get them all out. We are not finished however, because every year we magically get more leaves in our yard. Our neighbor to the west decides that raking leaves is not one of his top priorities, so his leaves blow into our yard. So, we started to pick up the leaves that had already blown into are yard, but I'm sure that there will be more in the weeks to come. Another thing about our lazy neighbor is that he will only mow his lawn once every two weeks or so. So, when the wind picks up all of the long grass trimmings blow into our yard, but that's a story for another time.
Every year I dread the thought of having to clean up all of those leaves. I have offered to pay for a lawn service to do it, but my father never goes for it. Most of the time my brother and sister help out, but this year they were both away at school the weekend my dad decided to do the clean up. When he picks a day to do the clean up, any plans I had are not important, they are immediately canceled. Leaves become my number one priority. He does usually reward us for hard work. Last night he made a steak dinner with a seafood pasta dish and bruchetta for myself, my parents and my aunt and uncle. When my brother and sister are home to help, he will take us out to dinner or something nice. It is nice to have all of the work done for this year and out of the way. In about 364 days however, I will once again dread the thought of picking up all those damn leaves.
Every year I dread the thought of having to clean up all of those leaves. I have offered to pay for a lawn service to do it, but my father never goes for it. Most of the time my brother and sister help out, but this year they were both away at school the weekend my dad decided to do the clean up. When he picks a day to do the clean up, any plans I had are not important, they are immediately canceled. Leaves become my number one priority. He does usually reward us for hard work. Last night he made a steak dinner with a seafood pasta dish and bruchetta for myself, my parents and my aunt and uncle. When my brother and sister are home to help, he will take us out to dinner or something nice. It is nice to have all of the work done for this year and out of the way. In about 364 days however, I will once again dread the thought of picking up all those damn leaves.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
