My brain is always thinking. I'm always wondering about different things and scenarios. I do about 3 hours of driving a day, so I have a lot of free time to think. These are just some of the things that I think are worth a second thought. Some of these thoughts are my own and some are borrowed, but all of them are worth thinking about.
A Test for Telepathy
If you want to know if somebody has telepathic abilities, look at them and in your mind, call them an asshole. If they give you a dirty look...RUN!
Morbid Obesity
Morbid obesity has got to be the worst disease imaginable. It is strange to think that somebody could be so fat it could kill them. There is hope however, a morbidly obese person has 2 options. First, work really hard, diet, exercise, and strive to be obese. Or, they can stay at home and go for the record.
The Battino/Mitchell Theory
There has been a recent trend of girls wearing ugly boots. A couple years ago, my friend Leo and I came up with a theory about good looking girls and their boots. There is an inverse relationship between hot girls and ugly boots. The hotter the girl, the uglier her boots. Hot girls have a habit of wearing the ugliest boots imaginable, but other girls admire them, and want the boots. They don't really want the ugly boots, they want to be good looking. The exception that proves the rule is when an ugly girl wears ugly boots. This is because they have a false perception of their own beauty and/or they aspire to be good looking.
Feminine Products
Often, my girlfriend will ask me to buy her feminine products. My ego will not allow me to do so. I have a huge problem with buying tampons and such, but I'm not sure why. I'm pretty sure the cashier will know that they are not for me, but still I refuse.
Politics
George W. Bush is the reason why people should not tell their kids that they can be anything they want to be.
Riding in Cars with Girls
Have you ever been on a road trip with three girls when their favorite song comes on the radio? It is absolute torture. I was on my way to Cortland with three girls, and they went nuts when The Backstreet Boys and Hanna Montana came on the radio. For the first time in my life, I wished I was deaf.
Tattoos
I do not like tattoos. But if I were to get one, I have a couple good ideas. First, a tattoo of an elephants head right above my genitals so that my penis would look like the trunk. Second, and this is a borrowed idea...If I were ever to lose a testicle, I would tattoo a squirrel running up one leg, and another running down my other leg with a nut in its mouth.
Music
Jim Morrison would have died of AIDS anyway.
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haha I like this topic a lot. My mind is always running I feel like, and seem's to think a lot of what you are saying. I like your topic on road trip with girls because its so true, they act like they have never heard the song before and go absolutley rediculous and have to try and sing every word which is hilarious.
ReplyDeleteWow, everything about this blog made me laugh... especially your tattoo ideas. I've actually tried the telepathy test. Pretty ridiculous, I know.
ReplyDeleteAnd as for morbidly obese people... if they are so obese that we need to use the word "morbid" to describe the stage of their obesity, I think they might as well stay at home and go for the record.
And i thought i was random...I Lmao about comment about obesity and that they could do two things staying home and going for the record that was hillarious. Then your tattoos idea that you would get if you did get one is just sick but funny at the sametime.
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