Grandpa D

Five years ago, on November 5th, my life was changed forever. I awoke that Friday morning to hear that my grandfather, John Dimao, was killed in a car accident. That morning I woke up at 6:51 am, and could not get back to sleep. This was odd because I was out at a party the night before, and had no intention of waking up before 10. My father called my around 7:30 to tell me that my grandfather was gone. When I got home and talked to my grandmother, she said that my grandfather had been pronounced dead at 6:51, and that he woke me up to say goodbye. That always hit home for me, because at the time I was the only person away from home. I remember every event from that day, from the kindness the community showed my family, to the grief we all shared.

This became the darkest period in my life. I struggled with depression for a few years, and it is the reason why eventually left school. Now, I seem to have my life back on track as I am graduating in December. I'll never forget the day he died, my uncle Eric said "Just finish school and you will have done right by him." This has been the main reason why I came back to school to finish. The past few years I have felt inadequate in the eyes of my grandfather, and I am desperately trying to change that. I always felt bad about not playing football in college. My grandfather enjoyed watching all of his grandchildren play sports. I had the opportunity to play football at Hartwick College, but I decided to go to Cortland instead (his alma matter) and give up football. He always told me that he could make calls on my behalf, but I never took him up on it.

My grandfather was a pretty important person in his town. He was the long time athletic director for Canastota High School, and after retiring became an assistant athletic director at Colgate University. In the days after his death I heard stories from many people about he specifically touched their life or helped them out in one way or another. Both Canastota and Colgate honored my grandfather. Canastota named their basketball court after him, and Colgate held a private memorial service in which faculty and student-athletes attended. During that service, my grandmother turned to me and said, "I had no idea your grandfather was this important." I responded, "I did."

Some strange things have happened since his passing. The strangest was a few years ago. First let me start by saying the number 22 is my aunt Jackie's favorite number, and since his death the number has been popping up everywhere. In our family we take it as a sign that he is still watching over us. So, a few years ago, my sister had a basketball game in a big tournament. Before the game, the shot clock was stuck on 22. The thing about shot clocks is that at the end of the game they are unnecessary and are shut off. When they are shut off they are reset back to 30 or 35 seconds. This caught the eye of everybody in my family (we were all in attendance). As the game began my sister scored the first 10 points of the game and never missed a shot. After scoring the 10 points she then had 3 assists, as her team went out to an 16-4 lead. For whatever reason her coach decided to take her out at that point. Another strange thing that occurred was when my aunt and uncle were pregnant with twins. This is 2 years after my grandfather died. My uncle received and email from my grandfather's work email. He was not a tech-savvy man, I doubt he even knew how to email. Anyway, all the email said was "1." Days later my aunt and uncle found out that one of the twins had died and they were only going to have one baby.

Now, I can see my grandfathers attributes in every one of my family members. We are still a very close knit family, which is one of the things he always stressed. My mother, and her sister and two brothers are still the best of friends. Myself, my brother, my sister and all of my cousins are all close friends. At the funeral, my Uncle Eric said that he saw his father in all of us grand kids, and he was absolutely right because I see it too. He specifically mentioned all of us and what he saw. For me, he mentioned that I have my grandfather's intelligence, honesty, and sense of humor. I take great pride in that.

He has been gone for 5 years now, and is still a big part of my life. Not a day goes by that I don't think about him in one way or another. Every time I drive by his house I expect to see him on the front porch swing, with his big head of white hair smiling and waving. He was like a second father to me (not that my father is insufficient). I am glad that I got to say goodbye. About a week before he died, I was home on October break. I was about to head back to school, and I stopped at their house to say goodbye. He wasn't home from work yet, and my grandmother told me to wait for him. The last time I saw him, He hugged me and gave me a check for $100 (a very common thing). I will be forever grateful to my grandmother for making me wait an extra twenty minutes for him to get home because I got to say goodbye the last time I saw him. While he was alive, our entire family used to vacation in the Outer Banks, North Carolina, every summer. We would get a huge house on the beach and would do everything together as a family. My cousins and I used to play wiffle ball on the beach. The last year he was alive, some kids from Baltimore challenged us to a game, and we kicked the shit out of them, something like 18-2. I can't even explain how happy that made my grandfather. This past year was the first time we went since he died. We had an amazing time, but it was still different because he wasn't there.

As the years have passed, it has been easier to deal with, but the pain is not completely gone. I still miss him very much and wish I could talk to him today. I would tell him that I fell off track for a little while, but I'm fighting my way back to success, and I think that he would be proud of me, and that makes me very happy.